November 17th, 2013 by Kama

Let’s review the year shall we?  I know it’s not over yet, but I’m ready for it to be.  Pretty sure this is the worst year of my life.

It began with a car breakdown, and a $1200 repair bill. Yeah, I NEVER have $1200 just lying around for emergencies, so that sucked.

I re-injured my elbow doing the gardening. My doctor sent me for another steroid injection, which helped take away the pain last time. However, this time, the radiologist decided I would benefit more from a blood injection, which is where they take blood from the good arm, and inject it into the torn tendon, making the tear worse in the process, supposedly to promote healing. Sadly for me, this didn’t work. In fact, on a scale from one to ten, it’s ten times worse now.

I’ve now tried physio, acupuncture, massage, steroid injection, blood injection, shockwave therapy. My last resort is surgery, and guess what? At this point, ACC decide this is a gradual process injury (total bollocks), and have refused to fund the surgery. So now I have to battle this out in a review.

Then I lost my beloved Jack. Words can’t even express the hurt. I’m still grieving, and I’ve never felt so alone.  I’ve lost all motivation to exercise, have been eating badly, and gained back half the weight I lost last year. My fibromyalgia has flared up and I’m in constant pain. All my optimism is gone. I’m lonely yet I don’t want to be around people, because they don’t understand, and the people I do want to be around, don’t seem to be able to handle the fact that I’m not all sunshine and roses at the moment.  I doubt I’m at the stage where I could be considered to be clinically depressed, but I’m probably not far off it.  I now understand how people with mental health issues feel, when family and friends withdraw from them and don’t know how to act around them. When all you need, is a little emotional support and to know someone does care.

Then today, the car breaks down again. I have zero savings. I’m in hell right now.

I walked down to the garage to buy some stuff since I couldn’t make it to the supermarket, and the young girl sympathetically told me I looked really tired. Yeah, thanks luv. I am tired. Tired of this life.

There’s only one thing that keeps me getting out of bed, and that’s my job. Thank god for my boss. A more caring and kind person I have yet to meet. She keeps coming to my rescue, financially and emotionally. Even now, on a Sunday evening, she’s texting me with ideas and solutions re. the car. Thanks Taryn, you’re one in a million.

2014 – how about some good changes?

Posted in General

Leave a Comment

Please note: Comment moderation is enabled and may delay your comment. There is no need to resubmit your comment.


It's All About Me

Total #rugbychick - also addicted to Green Day, fur-kids, rock music, social media, tattoos, spy thrillers. I swear a lot & I'm not even slightly PC.