The fundamental problem with online dating, is the whole “plenty of fish in the sea” concept. You meet someone in a bar, at a work function, a party, a friend of a friend, and start dating them, you can (usually) rest assured you are the only person they are seeing at the time. Not so with online dating, and probably why it never works out for me and I should give the whole thing up after so many fruitless years. Men who are new to the online dating scenario are suddenly faced with a veritable “sea” of available women, most of whom are sad, lonely & desperate for a relationship (this is where I differ!) and will take anything they can get. The men of course immediately think “Great! I’m going to hang my rod out for as long as I can and see how many I can catch!” Inevitably all the women he’s seeing at the same time will realise they’re not the only one on his menu, dump him, and he ends up alone and wondering why.

Women like me (not desperate) on the other hand will tend to sift through the rubbish until they find a gem, then concentrate their effort and attention on him, and him alone. I receive a lot of mail through various dating sites, 98% of which go straight in the trash. Another 1% I might respond to but after a few  messages, realise we are not even remotely compatible, wish them well and cut contact. The final 1% (not very high is it?) has managed to capture my attention enough to suggest a potential relationship is worth pursuing. And this is where online dating lets me down. Because I’ve already done the sifting through by this time and come to the conclusion that this guy is worth some time and effort in getting to know, to the detriment of anyone else who might contact me in the meantime. But the guy I’m keen on, he’s generally still fishing. And I know this, because in this time and age of social networking websites, it’s hard to keep anything a secret (unless of course, you’re Chris, but that’s a whole other story). Certainly nothing I do is a secret, online at least, my life is an open book. What you read is what you get.

So I know he’s chatting with various other women online, probably meeting them in real life – what’s a girl to do? In the case of the “date” I had yesterday for example. I go into first meetings with very low or no expectations, then I’m never disappointed – it’s a strategy that works well for me! Yesterday I felt something of a connection almost immediately, and that rarely happens to me. Kindred spirits, if you like. Both introverts who can be social when the need arises, but would rather have quiet nights at home, both dog & music lovers, scarily similar ideas on where we want to live in the future, etc etc. I surprised myself at how much I liked him. I felt there was definite potential there. Of course, I have no idea if he felt the same way, I’m not good at reading people’s minds. And of course, I see him online on Facebook (after our date & suggesting we see each other again), chatting to other women I am guessing he has just befriended in the same way as me, via an online dating site. So he has been sucked into the whole fishing thing too.

I can’t really blame him and I’m not pissed off by it, it’s just human (man) nature. But instantly, I am put off. I think I’m a great catch. I’m financially independent and secure. Laidback. Honest, don’t play mindgames. Loyal, I don’t cheat. I’m very low maintenance, don’t require attention 24/7, have a great family, love to laugh and have fun, and most importantly, I think I’m a good person. Oh, and I’m damn good in bed (or so I’m told)!

I know my self-worth and I am worth any man I am seeing, to focus on me, and me alone. And I won’t settle for anything less. I don’t need or want to compete for someone’s attention in a social networking environment (it really does feel like being back in kindergarten), I have confidence in myself that I’m one of the better women out there, if a man can’t recognise that for himself, that’s very much his loss.

So, I think, the dating sites have got to go. What will I do with my time??

Yes, it’s official. I am an introvert. Read on…

The Introvert’s Personality Traits

Introverts have an inward focus and aren’t usually the life of the party. They have a strong sense of self that can make them feel highly self-conscious around other people – making walking into a crowded room a little nerve-wracking. Introverts have a hard time being goofy in front of the camera and telling jokes to more than a couple of people at a time, but they can be extremely witty. They’re less “Larry, Curly, and Moe” and more Woody Allen – but that doesn’t mean introverts’ personality traits are neurotic.

Introverts process their emotions, thoughts, and observations internally. They can be social people, but reveal less about themselves than extroverts do. Introverts are more private, and less public. Introverts need time to think before responding to a situation, and develop their ideas by reflecting privately. Introverts’ personality traits can be passionate, but not usually aggressive.

Introverts can focus their attention more readily and for longer periods of time, and they aren’t easily swayed by other people’s opinions.

Are Introverts Shy and Quiet?

Some introverts aren’t stereotypically shy and can strike up conversations with anyone. These introverts enjoy talking and listening to people, and going to parties and events. But most introverts would rather be at home. Introverts can find small talk easy but tiring – and sometimes boring. They’d rather have meaningful conversations about the depths of human souls and minds, but find few opportunities (those aren’t your usual conversations at water coolers or dinner parties!).

An introvert’s personality traits aren’t necessarily tentative or hesitant, but introverts do prefer to think before they act. When introverts are ready they take action!

Where Introverts Get Their Energy (this particularly applies to me)

Introverts tend to get their energy from within, so being with people is draining. After a day filled with people or activities, introverts tend to feel exhausted and empty. To recharge their batteries introverts need to be alone reading, daydreaming, painting, or gardening – any solo activity fills them up again. This doesn’t mean introverts have to live alone in a cave in the hills or on Walden Pond; they just need quiet time to come back to themselves. The energy source for introverts is from within.

Introverts in Love Relationships

Introverts don’t necessarily have a fear of intimacy – but they can be more difficult to get to know than an outgoing, friendly extrovert. Dating and relationships for introverts can be challenging; knowing a few dating tips for introverts will help. (lol)

According to this test, where I answered True to each and every question, I must be highly introverted:

The Introversion Test: Personality Characteristics of Introverts

1. When I need to rest, I prefer to spend time alone or with one or two other people rather than with a group.
2. I feel anxious if I have a deadline or pressure to finish a project.
3. People sometimes say I’m aloof, quiet, and calm – and hard to get to know.
4. I usually think first before talking – I rarely blurt my thoughts without editing them in my head.
5. I sometimes react strongly to smells, touches, tastes, sounds, and people.

The Introversion Test: At Work, School or Home & Introverted Personality Traits

1. When I work on work or home projects, I like to have large uninterrupted chunks of time.
2. I write notes to myself before having conversations with people.
3. I like to share special occasions with just one person, or a few close friends, rather than a large group of people.
4. I notice details that others don’t see, such as facial expressions or movements.
5. If I say I will do something, I almost always do it.
6. I can zone out if too much is going on.
7. It takes me time to sort through large amounts of information, such as reports at work or long stories from friends.
8. I often dread returning phone calls.
9. My mind sometimes goes blank when I’m asked a question or caught off guard.

The Introversion Test: Social Situations & Introverted Personality Traits

1. I don’t enjoy being the center of attention or in the spotlight.
2. Groups of people make me uncomfortable or nervous.
3. I sometimes rehearse things before speaking.
4. In general, I prefer to listen to other people over talking.
5. I don’t like hugely stimulating experiences, such as rides at an amusement park.
6. I have few friends, but they’re very close to me.
7. I feel drained after social situations, even when I have a good time.
8. I like to watch a group or activity for awhile before I join in.
9. When people have an argument or heated discussion, I notice the tension in the air.

Not a lot of surprise there, I must say.

This picture taken by my friend’s husband, next to us. Being this close only served to fuel my crush. Damn, but he’s sexy. *sigh*

You Tube is absolutely brilliant. As are all those awesome people who sneakily took video of the concert and uploaded them for us to relive the magic. I’m methodically working my way through them, saving them to my favourites, and will post links to the best ones at a later date. When I’ve had my fill. Sometime in 2050. Or not.

Last night, Saturday 19th December, will go down as the best night of my life. I don’t imagine anything will ever top that.

I flew to Auckland on an early morning Jet Star flight, arriving just on 8am. Took the airport bus into the city, had a delicious Eggs Benedict at the Waterfront Cafe for breakfast, then spent most of the day people watching from a spot by the water. Grunge had definitely come to Auckland, the metros must have wondered what hit them. Plenty of Green Day and other band t’shirts & black jeans wandering around. About 3pm my friend Vicky and her husband and friend arrived, and I met up with them in their hotel room at the Sebel Suites. Great views over the Viaduct Harbour! We had a few red wines, then walked to the Vector Arena about 7pm. Vicky and I were insane with excitement.

When Green Day took the stage at exactly 8.30pm (now that’s what I call professional), the crowd went nuts. We’d manage to score ourselves a spot right at the back of the mosh pit, so we weren’t too squashed, and in fact were only about ten or so people deep back from the stage runway, so got some awesome close ups of Billie Joe. Just to be in the same room as his presence is something I can’t even begin to describe. It was incredible. They put on an amazing show, complete with pyrotechnics, confetti, a toilet paper throwing machine, water pistols, t’shirt bombs, and heaps of crowd participation, including bringing fans on stage. The crowd were simply awesome. It was a really good mix of generations and everyone was happy and excited and really well behaved, even the mosh pit was just people bouncing in sync and no drunken idiots pushing and slamming into each other. The atmosphere was incredible, I have never experienced anything like it in all the concerts I’ve been to. Billie Joe was our GOD. When he said “Get your hands in the air”, I don’t think there was one person in the sold out venue that didn’t do as they were told!  On the floor we could look up and see all the seated people (who were NOT sitting) swaying and clapping their hands in time with us, holding up their lighters and phones during the slower songs, it was just magic. And Billie Joe?  Every bit as hot and gorgeous in real life, the man is just beautiful.

It wasn’t just the highlight of my year, but of my life. Best concert ever. Best Live Act ever, without question (U2 can go kiss my ass). As Vicky said, “Who cares about Santa?” This was our Christmas.  The full set list (below) was just awesome! Surprisingly only 7 songs from the new album, but lots of great old stuff, which made us all very happy. They played ‘Give Me Novacaine’ and ‘She’ and a little bit of AC/DC’s ‘Highway to Hell’, the Beatles ‘Hey Jude’ (which is summed up the best in this review: ‘quite frankly, who the hell needs Paul McCartney’) and some other covers which just rocked and were  better than the originals (in my humble opinion).

When Billie did the long held note of “Hey-Oh” and we responded in kind, his reaction to our effort was:
“Louder than Australia” (we screamed loud)
“Louder than Europe” (we screamed louder)
“Louder than America” (we just went mental)

Shoulda made a DVD, Billie!

I don’t have the words to express just how good this band is live. Phenomenal at the very least. I have a new life goal. To see Green Day again at one of the outdoor stadiums in the UK somewhere. Vector Arena was good, a much better venue than I expected, but an outdoor gig with around 65,000 other fans would kill it. I can’t imagine going through life without seeing them again. I missed the 2005 American Idiot tour, and I don’t want any more regrets.

So, the set list:

1. Song Of The Century
2. 21st Century Breakdown
3. Know Your Enemy
4. East Jesus Nowhere
5. Holiday
6. The Static Age
7. Give Me Novacaine
8. Are We The Waiting
9. St. Jimmy
10. Boulevard of Broken Dreams
11. Burnout
12. My Generation (The Who cover)
13. Dominated Love Slave (Tre Cool)
14. Geek Stink Breath
15. Hitchin’ A Ride
16. Welcome To Paradise
17. When I Come Around
18. Iron Man (Main Riff) (Black Sabbath cover)
19. Crazy Train (Main Riff) (Ozzy Osbourne cover)
20. Highway To Hell (AC/DC cover)
21. Brain Stew
22. Jaded
23. Longview
24. Basket Case
25. She
26. King For A Day / Shout / Break On Through (The Doors) / Hey Jude (The Beatles)
27. 21 Guns
28. Homecoming

Encore:

1. American Idiot
2. Minority

Encore 2:

1. Last Night On Earth
2. Wake Me Up When September Ends
3. Good Riddance (Time of your Life)

Afterwards, I queued for about half an hour for a tour t’shirt, then we walked back to the Viaduct and hit some bars. The men in Auckland are a strange breed. I was getting a few winks and smiles, and one guy actually dared to slide closer to me at the bar to try his luck. He was actually quite nice, and he (and his friends) were disappointed to find I was only in town for the one night. Apparently a curvy redhead in a black rock t’shirt and jeans, with panda eyes from where the eyeliner had run, and hair a complete mess from being sweaty then doused in water to rehydrate during the concert and left to dry naturally, is quite a turn on for them. Bizarre. Must be a refreshing change from all the skinny stuck up blondes.

Of course, there being no future in it, I left him sitting there when we moved on to try and find another bar that would let the guys we were with in without having a collared shirt (for fucks sake Auckland, we’d come from a rock concert, loosen up). We ended up back in the hotel room with kebabs at 3am, then I took the bus back to the airport and hung out til my flight at 6.40am was called. The flight into Christchurch was so rough, wind shear all over the place, I found myself thinking, well, if this is my Last Night on Earth (like how I snuck that in there?), I’ll die happy. Managed to make it home in one piece, fed the dog, fell into bed and was so exhausted I managed to sleep all day (usually impossible for me), until 7pm! I’ll probably be up all night now, having finally showered and washed my hair (my god, where did it all go, there’s nothing to squeeze out), but what the hell, only 3 days of work left.

And oh so totally worth it. Photos to come as soon as I can steal them from Vicky, including an awesome shot of Billie Joe which shows just how close we were.

Just added to my Mighty Ape Wishlist: Rebels Without a Cause – the Green Day story. Must have. Oh, and just found out via Twitter about the new release on iTunes of The Green Day Collection, 174 songs including B-sides and live versions. Drool.

Billie Joe Armstrong once said that everyone has that one band who just changes their life. Green Day, you are that band for me.

…is another woman’s perfect man?

I was at a friend’s BBQ tonight, along with many couples and their young children (yes, I know, shut up). Not at all scared or freaked out by this, I and the two other single, childless by choice females at the party decided to calm our nerves by swapping horror dating stories (yeah, yeah, I know, SHUT UP!).

One of these girls, the very charismatic Miss K we shall call her, had a story about a blind date and a dog. Friends had set her up on a blind date with this man, we shall call him Mr B. First point of contact was a phone call that lasted an hour and fifteen minutes. I commented that it seemed they were off to a good start if the conversation flowed for that amount of time, but Miss K informed me that it was no big deal, she could pretty much carry on a conversation with anyone for that length of time, but it would probably be her doing all the talking, more often than not. To which I had to agree, the woman can certainly talk (in a good way)!

Anyway, she must have made one hell of a good impression, as Mr B was quite taken with her. Miss K is a teacher, at my old intermediate school as it happens. After the phone conversation, she was at school, when towards her came a couple of pupils with a dog in tow. They handed her a card, and the dog. Turns out the card was from Mr B, but written as being from the dog, and was all about what a good owner & person Mr B was, you know, talking him up.

Now, obviously Mr B was hanging around somewhere, waiting in the hope that Miss K would return the dog to him personally (bearing in mind, they had not actually met in person). Instead she sent the pupils back with the dog, carried on with her day, then later sent him a message to say she thought it was inappropriate and she no longer thought they should meet.

At this point, our table of people were cracking up. As was I, but where I found his actions hilarious in a romantic way, they all seemed to think the guy was a freak and a stalker. OK, I’ll admit, the fact the guy was hanging around a school could be construed as a bit dodgy, but I’m sure he was thinking he was making a grand romantic gesture, and the implications of where he was doing it probably never crossed his mind. Had it been any other place of employment, opinions at the table tonight could have been very different.

Had a guy come up with this as a way to impress me, he’d have knocked my socks off. Pure genius. But you know, each to their own….

Oh yeah! And Woohoo! Here it is:

My entry ticket to what is possibly going to be one of the best nights of my life. Met up with Greer this afternoon for a cuppa at the Tap Room and collected the ticket from her. Now all I have to do is work out my transport. I’m thinking of parking the car overnight at one of the car storage places out by the airport, which will cost about half as much as a taxi to and from. In Auckland I will probably take an airport shuttle. All up though the transport alone is going to cost nearly $100. And I need to get my hair cut before then, another $70. Really really need to find a new flatmate soon. If only I didn’t love living by myself so much…

Can I also just say….  Threading. Oh. My. Fucking. God. Ouch! Fist-clenching pain. Not so much of a fan, think I will stick to eyebrow waxing. And maybe it was just the person doing it, but it doesn’t seem to lend itself to shaping very well. My eyebrows are hard to shape, I will admit, as I have brown and blonde hairs in there, but with a little patience and care I can usually manage to work a shape into them. So if I can, how come the so-called professional can’t? Won’t be going back there. I used to have a great lady who got them perfect every time, Bernadette I think her name was, but when the salon she was working at closed down, I lost track of her. Anyone know of a really good waxist on my side of town? Waxist? Is that even a word?

So having managed not to obtain either of the things on Version 2 of my wish list (not all that surprising really), I thought I should add some more obtainable things to it, dose it with a bit of reality, shall we say?  I keep finding cool stuff on the internet. Damn you internet. So here is Version 3.

• A nice block of land somewhere near the beach with no neighbours too close by, and this house. Though the pink bedroom has to go.
• Flights and tickets to Green Day’s American Idiot stage show.
• An iDog to hook the iPod up to in the bedroom. Music in the bedroom! I would never have to leave my room! How cool would that be?
• A goose down duvet inner. One of those summer/winter interchangeable ones.
• A Green Day St Jimmy t’shirt.
• A copy of Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About, the funniest book ever by Mil Millington.
• Flights and tickets to Green Day playing at Wembley Stadium, 2010. I know, such a dreamer.
• This crazy itching to stop. Failing that, a gun to shoot myself with. Seriously, what the hell am I allergic to?
• All the bears in China to be released and rehomed and the insane cruelty to stop.
• A whopping big teddy bear.

So, everyone is all excited about the soccer, and the All Whites beating Bahrain to qualify for the World Cup. I feel kind of guilty for saying it, but what the hell?  So we qualify. For what? To get knocked out in the first round, or however it works? How far do you think we’ll get, realistically?  Soccer is just not our game. I’m happy for them I suppose, they are an NZ team after all, but I just couldn’t bring myself to watch with the rest of NZ. Not after the four years of torture I endured in my late teens/early twenties, freezing my ass off on the sidelines of my fiance’s club soccer games. A pack of grown men running round after a ball, and never scoring any goals, it bore little resemblance to how the game is actually meant to be played. Not that I find the real thing all that more stimulating. Give me rugby any day.

This is quite fascinating. The only internet “quiz” I’ve ever done that shows a surprising accuracy. I’m a member of this dating site that has a “Relationship Needs Assessment” quiz you can take. Below are some of my results, with passages in bold that I think are particularly relevant to me and accurate.

Interdependence: Interdependence refers to how much you need dependency or a “couple identity” with your partner.

Your answer pattens suggest that you tend not to become overly dependent on a romantic partner. People scoring like you are comfortable being singled out for praise and rewards, and their personal identity and independence from others is important to them. Therefore, it seems you need a reasonable level of independence in a relationship. This does not mean that you do not desire to be close with a partner. Indeed, when you feel close to someone, this person often becomes an important part of who you are on the inside and you probably like showing off your “couplehood” in public. However, you do not necessarily need to be constantly “joined at the hip” in order to feel connected and secure in a relationship. Bottom line: you need someone who reciprocates a strong feeling of attachment to a partner but who also respects and copes well with the fact that you benefit from a reasonable level of physical and psychological space at times. [They got the bottom line spot on with this one.]

Intimacy: Intimacy refers to the how much you need emotional closeness with your partner.

You are clearly comfortable with giving and receiving emotional intimacy. You long for emotional closeness and security with a special person, and you tend to be open with a partner in return. That openness includes lessons learned from your past experiences and relationships, extending trust, believing your partner returns your feelings and devotion and being generally comfortable with surrendering yourself to a partner. In fact, you probably would feel uncomfortable if there were serious secrets between you and your partner. Likewise, you probably regard a partner as your best friend and your foremost confidant. There is likely no hesitation discussing current problems or concerns with that person. It also seems that you have realistic expectations for a committed relationship. However, you may find yourself wondering whether your partner’s feelings are equally as strong as yours. Still, people in this scoring range are willing to take the risks associated with being vulnerable on many levels. Bottom line: you need someone who desires and reciprocates intimacy as much as you do.

Self-Efficacy: Self-Efficacy refers to your self-image, stability of mood and level of motivation.

People like you are characterized by a strong self-esteem, sense of self and sense of accomplishment. Those who know you best would likely describe you as influential, patient and accepting of others – and calm, cool and collected most of the time. You are content with your personal qualities and feel you are an attractive person. Moreover, you probably have a good sense of control over the events in your life and are decisive in managing your life. In this sense, you likely do not overreact to circumstances as others might do. Rather, people in your scoring range are quite adaptable and are able to maintain a balanced perspective on situations. Additionally, you are also very influential and persuasive with others. Therefore, it is expected that family, friends and acquaintances often come to you for ideas of guidance across a range of issues. You are confident that people who are important in your life understand you, but you also tend to be comfortable not giving in to peer, family and other social pressures. Family is indeed important to you, but their expectations do not strongly influence your life. Instead, people who score like you tend to have their own well-defined ambitions and goals – and may even set specific benchmarks to monitor the progress made toward achievements. Bottom line: you need a partner who is energetic, enthusiastic and has high self-efficacy like you and will support or even participate in your personal and professional interests that feed your sense of identity and accomplishment.

Relationship Readiness: Relationship Readiness refers to how prepared you are emotionally, psychologically and pragmatically for a committed relationship.

You seem to be happy and content in your life. This is an excellent foundation for a committed relationship. In fact, most people in this scoring range have a clear vision and a sense of purpose for their life. They can connect well with others with effective relationship and dating skills, they have well defined ideas about where their life is headed and they are assertive and resourceful in meeting their goals. Therefore, you likely feel in control and are able to take charge and go after what you want in life and in a relationship. Your housekeeping is also probably in check – meaning that you do not have any negative baggage that can weigh down a relationship, like financial or legal problems or emotional, health or family issues. As such, you appear to be looking for a relationship to complement your life, not to fulfill or “complete” it. You probably have a lot to offer a partner, as long as you do not set unrealistic expectations for that person or the relationship. Bottom line: you need someone who is not looking to be taken care of, but rather who is realistic about the hard work it takes to build and maintain a stable and satisfying relationship.

Communication: Communication refers to your approach to interpersonal interactions and level of emotional intelligence.

Effective communicators have strong emotional intelligence, and you seem to have an excellent level of emotional intelligence. It is expected that you show considerable tolerance of ambiguity and emotional expression. You have the capacity for being extremely sensitive to other’s feelings and to their body language. Those who know you well would probably describe you as patient and eager to listen to others. People in this scoring range are also not afraid of making or admitting to mistakes. They consistently and bravely show vulnerability to others. In fact, they are keenly aware how their behavior impacts others. You can communicate your needs and feelings honestly when someone engages you directly, but you may not always take the initiative to be assertive with others. In this sense, it is likely that you seek to understand others, rather than seek for others to understand you. Bottom line: you need someone who will not put up emotional barriers when you seek to understand his/her thoughts and feelings, but rather will communicate with you intimately and candidly.

Attitudes Toward Love: Attitudes Toward Love refers to your level of needs for romantic love and friendship love.

There are two main types of love – Romantic Love and Companionate Love. Romantic Love is passionate, emotional and intense, whereas Companionate Love is a deep, affectionate attachment. People feel these two types of loves to different degrees in a relationship, and the levels of each can fluctuate over time. You scored as someone who may be best described as “a realist with a touch of hopeless romantic.” This means that you do value Romantic Love, but for you a relationship must have a strong dose of Companionate Love. Thus, people in this scoring range typically believe that differences can be overcome and lasting love can be sustained if the couple does the hard of work of consistently showing mutual understanding and accommodation. In this sense, it is likely that you believe soul mates are made, not born. Bottom line: you need someone who believes that the best kind of love grows out of a strong friendship.

Preferred Expressions of Affection: Preferred Expressions of Affection refers to your likes and dislikes for different ways a partner can express love and devotion.

There are many ways in which people show affection to their loved ones: physical touch, doing favors, spending time together, giving gifts or communicating love through words. Statistically, you gave higher weighted ratings to Physical Touch. Bottom line: You need someone who can express affection through touch – a playful tickle, holding hands, hugs and kisses or a light touch as s/he passes by.

Too tired and too lazy to blog anything meaningful tonight, so here’s some questions I borrowed from another blog. The answers are mine. Not borrowed.

1.    If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say? Words that should not be blogged. You would hear me swearing a mile away.
2.    Do you trust all of your friends? I try, but I’m not a very trusting person.
3.    Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love? I don’t know. Ask me again when I’ve experienced falling in love. Real, true love, not just lust for a few months, then indifference.
4.    Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? No. Sometimes shit just happens. Don’t waste time looking for hidden meanings, you’ll make yourself crazy. Just get the hell over it.
5.    Can you make a dollar in change right now? Yes. Actually I can make $3.70 in change. The change pocket in my wee purse is bursting. I should go spend it.
6.    Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor? Probably Paul. He’s good at fixing stuff.
7.    Are you afraid of falling in love? A little. I’m afraid of the change it would bring to my life, which is pretty bloody fantastic as it is and doesn’t really need changing.
8.    What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago? The same old Ford Falcon XR6 ute that’s still parked in my driveway today.
9.    Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? Lots of random people pop randomly into my random mind. Sometimes I don’t even know them. It would be good if my mind had an off switch.
10.    What’s your most favourite scar? The six-incher on my right thigh from breaking my leg aged 18.
11.    When was the last time you flew in a plane? August 2009, flying home from Auckland. I haven’t flown in anything other than a plane.
12.    What did the last text message you sent say? “Ok”. In response to my sister texting to say she would call me tonight. She still hasn’t called me. Bitch.
13.    What physical features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex? Arms. I’m an arm person. They should be nicely muscular (but not too huge), tanned and toned, and definitely have some kind of tattoo on them.
14.    Fill in the blank. Blankety blank blank blank. That’s not even a question.
15.    What question should be asked here? Why couldn’t you think of two more real questions?
16.    If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call? My dog.
17.    How many kids do you want to have? Hahahaha, that’s a trick question, right? Don’t you know me AT ALL?
18.    Would you make a good parent? No. They would be eternally in time out or I would be in jail for smacking. And not being allowed to talk, EVER, they would probably grow up mute. By the way, the answer to the question above is “NONE”. As if there was any doubt.
19.    Where was your default picture taken? It’s a Photo Booth picture taken sitting in front of my computer.
20.    What’s your middle name? Larissa.
21.    Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? Wondering if 8pm on the eve of a long weekend is too soon to go to bed.
22.    If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be? The All Blacks losing to France in the 2007 Rugby World Cup quarter final. Actually, just changing the ref would suffice, the AB’s could handle the rest themselves without his interference.
23.    Who was or will be the maid of honour/best man in your wedding? My youngest sister. But that’s a moot question, there will be no wedding for me.
24.    What are you wearing right now? Grey trackies and a really old t’shirt. And some holey socks.
25.    Righty or Lefty? Righty.
26.    Best place to eat? Mum and Dad’s. Or Club Bazaar pizza in Sumner.
27.    Favourite jeans? The ones I can’t fit into at the moment. Damn it.
28.    Favourite animal? Dog.
29.    Favourite juice? Pineapple.
30.    Have you had the chicken pox? Yes. And measles. And mumps.
31.    Have you had a sore throat? Yes. Has anyone not ever had a sore throat? I mean, seriously.
32.    Ever had a bar fight? No. My life is not that exciting. Or dangerous.
33.    Who knows you the best? I do.
34.    Shoe size? Eight and half, depending on the shoe brand.
35.    Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? Not any more, thanks Lasik!
36.    Ever been in a fight with your pet? No fights, but plenty of arguments and cursing.
37.    Been to Mexico? No, senor.
38.    Did you buy something today? Yes. Cat food, dog food and a bottle of wine. We’re all set for the weekend.
39.    Did you get sick today? Not yet, but I haven’t drunk the whole bottle of wine yet.
40.    Do you miss someone today? My boy, Jack. Dogs can be someones too.
41.    Did you get in a fight with someone today? No, I was very nice to people today. Much nicer than some of them deserved.
42.    When is the last time you had a massage? Have never had a proper massage.
43.    Last person to lie in your bed? Me and the fur-kids, Jack, Ed, Eliot.
44.    Last person to see you cry? Complete stranger standing next to me at the rugby. He was also the last person I hugged.
45.    Who/what made you cry? Canterbury winning the Air NZ Cup for the second straight year.
46.    What was the last TV show you watched? Big Bang Theory last night. Hilarious comedy.
47.    What are your plans for the weekend? Going to the Show with my sister. Probably some weeding and hedge trimming, and 2 or 3 trips to the dog park. Unless it rains, then I’m staying in bed all weekend.
48.    Who do you think will re-post this? I doubt anyone will read it, let alone repost it.
49.    Who was the last person you hung out with? In a social context, my sister. Overall, my boss.
50.    When was the last time you went out for a nice dinner? Mum’s birthday in September, Thai Talay in Ferrymead. Very good!

At the risk of offending and upsetting all the victim support people out there (you have your opinion, I’m allowed to have mine), I have to say I fully support the judges decision to grant permanent name suppression in this case.  This is what alcohol does to you, people. It makes you do stupid, sometimes illegal things, you wouldn’t dream of doing when sober.  And who hasn’t done something stupid, and maybe illegal, when drunk? Come on, you know you have.  Do you think you should lose your job, your career, over it?

Everyone’s up in arms because the so-called ‘victim’ in this case was a 16 year old girl. Do you think he knew that?  Have you seen the average 16 year old girl out in town lately? Dressed up to the nines, with makeup and clothes to make them appear 18 so they can buy booze, could you pick the underagers with any certainty?  It’s not like they were in school uniform. And, I’m sorry, but this whole victim statement just gives me the shits.  ‘I had a lot of things go wrong in my life’ but had ‘turned a corner and things were looking better’.

Yes, that’s why at 16, you were out at 3am with your friends following drunk celebrities down an alleyway in town in Wellington. Things are gonna get a whole lot better for you living that kind of life. Get real. That’s a victim impact statement specifically designed to invoke sympathy if ever I heard one.

At 16, I was fairly naive, but even I knew that following any drunk guy down a dark alleyway at night and asking for a kiss is asking for trouble, no matter who he is.  Are you that stupid?  And hello? Parents? Your 16 year old kid is out at 3am, what the fuck are you thinking?

And yes, what he did was crude and probably revolting, but for heavens sake, chalk it up to bad decision making on your part, and a drunken mistake on his, and let him get on with his life. And get the hell on with your own. Go to school, go home at a decent hour in the weekends, and make something of your life. The choice is yours.

Unless of course the celeb was Jordan Luck. Then feel free to string him up by the balls. That guy is a Loser with a capital L ;-)